Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Temper Tantrums

Because I use my blog as a journal of my life with my boys, it's only fair that on top of the good and the bad, I also mention the ugly.

Ugly = temper tantrums.

Where do babies learn how to throw tantrums? It isn't as though they witness their father and I throwing them. Okay, sometimes Justin may throw one if his fantasy football team isn't doing well, but I digress.

Last night, Luke threw the mother of all temper tantrums. Aunt Danielle was over and bore witness to the event. *Speaking of Aunt Danielle, Nolan can say "Dan elle." I was so excited when I first heard it!* She looked at me in horror and said "Jen, what is wrong with him? Do something!"

I calmly smiled at her and said, "there's nothing that I can do. I don't want to feed into it." The little guy didn't even have a tear in his eyes, but he was yelling and throwing himself on the floor (so dramatic...like his momma.)

It isn't as though he has a temper tantrum all too often, but when he does have one, he REALLY has one. I think that the cause of last night's incident was sleepiness. He was overly tired, but didn't want to be in his crib. I didn't force him to and brought him into the living room with me to watch DWTS, but he was not having it. There was nothing I could to to make him happy, so I sat beside him on the floor while he was being a little diva.

He must have gotten a good night's rest because he woke up this morning with a big ol' smile on his face.

Nolan hasn't thrown a major tantrum yet (is it wishful thinking to say that I hope he never does?), but I can't imagine what it would be like if they both did this to me at the same time.

I need to reach out to some twin mommas to see how they handle situations like this. I don't want to give too much attention to the tantrum-thrower while ignoring his brother. I've made it a point to hug and cuddle the baby who isn't crying because 1) I'm happy he isn't crying; and 2) I don't want him to feel as though he needs to behave like this for attention.

Whoever said this parenting thing was easy?

7 comments:

PearlsAndGreenTea said...

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Sarah said...

Gotta love the tantrums. Mine had one over a tooth brush! They wanted to keep brushing and had a fit when it was time to go to bed and take it away. I usually just ignore the tantrum.

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Rebekah said...

Oh my, Hampton has suddenly discovered the awesomeness (?) of tantrums, and it is bad. He flings himself backward, and I'm so scared he's going to hurt himself! So, I cradle his head, let him get into a safe position, then ignore him. I usually tell him, "When you're done, you can come do xyz with mommy" and walk away. He gets over it pretty quickly with that. :)

Mitzi G. said...

No parenting is not easy; not at all!! B throws them too & I just let him lay on te floor & do it while I walk around him & do other things. Once he realizes I am not going to acknowledge him he usually stops (about 1-2 minutes)!

Good luck!!

Christa said...

oh no. My 8 month old is already throwing tantrums, is this what I have to look forward too!? At least we have boys. You should see my sister, she'll give ANYONE a run for their money!

Mindy said...

I've found the same thing with my boys! Ignoring them is the best thing. They're 17 months now and throw one every so often, maybe 2-3 times a week or more when we're not as structured as we usually are. Especially Benjamin - I don't remember if Jack has thrown one at all. It's developmental. At least that's what they tell me :) Perhaps it's also personality-driven, too. I'm not sure. But they're so used to getting WHAT they want, WHEN they want it, their little minds can't even understand when it doesn't happen JUST like that. (Sleepiness doesn't help either. I wonder if that actually helps bring it on sometimes.)

At first, I tried to console Ben. I thought maybe he just wanted to be held. NOPE. He squirmed out of my arms and back to the floor, flailing his arms so I understood just how upset he was. He just wanted to throw that tantrum! So I let him.

Now, I sit back and offer my arms when he seems to let up. I'd go crazy if I did try to help; there is just nothing I can do that he wants. But it doesn't take that long (maybe a minute or two?) before he finally comes up for air and runs into my arms. A few minutes later, the trantrum is a thing of the past and he's back to playing and horsing around with his brother.

I feel like perhaps he needs to know that even while his world may seem to be upside down, Mommy is still there. Right when you need her. She won't always give you what you want. Actually, she can't give you what you want MOST of the time. But she does love you. And she's there for you. You just have to stop crying long enough to notice :)

Good luck, Jennifer. You're doing a good job!!