Monday, August 10, 2009

How do you do it?

Last week I went to the doctor for my 6 week post-partum checkup. As soon as I signed my name on the arrival sheet, the girls in the office bombarded me with questions about the boys. It seems that women all want to know the same things: How do you do it? What do you do when both babies are crying? Do they sleep at the same time? What happens at night?

I’m asked these questions all the time and the honest to goodness truth is that I don’t know how I do it. I just do. I don’t really have a choice.

There are some days when the boys make it so easy for me to be a mom. One baby will wake in the morning with a smile on his face and I’m able to spend individualized time with him while his brother rests. We’ll have a bottle, get dressed for the day and spend some time playing before his brother wakes up for the day.

Then there are days like today when both boys wake and demand attention and won’t stop crying until he gets what he wants. Then sometimes, after he gets what he wants, he still screams. I just sit on the couch with a baby on my chest and one in my lap and I alternate comforting them. Sometimes I cry right along with them. Other times I handle the stress really well.

There really isn’t any rhyme or reason to how I handle situations with the boys. I just roll with it. I don’t know if I’m doing things the “right” way, but it seems to suit our family well. I was only blessed with two hands and can only do so much at any given moment.

The thing I struggle with the most is giving my boys individualized attention. I sometimes feel guilty because after I feed one, I need to quickly burp him just to get to his brother. I think that moms with a singleton can sit with their baby and look into his eyes and give him constant attention when I need to put mine down to get to his brother. I know that there are other moms of multiples who feel the same way and it’s perfectly normal, but I can’t help but feel the guilt.

This morning was a little rough around our house but it’s definitely better now. My friend and neighbor, Mabel came around to our house for a visit at the perfect time this afternoon. I had finally calmed the boys down around 12:50 and we took a little nap on the couch, but they woke at 1:30 screaming. It’s like God answered my prayers when Mabel knocked on the door. I had already had two bottles made and I was changing Luke’s poopy diaper. She came in, grabbed Nolan and gave him a bottle. He took 7 ounces! I was able to finish up with Luke and give him his bottle. The boys were angels after that. Nolan was staring up at Mabel with his big blue eyes and Luke was taking a little snooze. I managed to eat a little something and calm down. God answers our prayers in so many different ways!

4 comments:

Meant to be a mom said...

It sounds to me like your doing a fabulous job. Two babies are not easy to care for and you are doing the best you can do.

Ange said...

You are doing a great job and seem to be an amazing mom - those are 2 precious & lucky boys!!

Nicole said...

Sounds to me like you're doing wonderfully! I am stressing about having 1, so reading your blog gives me a lot of hope that it's definitely possible. LOL. Good luck!

Deanna said...

You sound just like I did three months ago. When friends asked what I did when both babies cried at the same time, I said, "sometimes I cry, too!" And you are so right, there's no way to think about how we do it...we just do it. Trust me, it gets SO much better. Mine are only 4 months old, and it's a lot of fun most of the time these days. You have some handsome boys!