Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dealing with stress

The other day, someone posted this question on the Nest: how do you deal with the stress that's associated with having trouble TTC? I responded that I don't handle the stress very well at all. What I meant was that I don't consciously do anything to relieve my stress (except maybe have a glass of wine.)

Today, while I was shampooing my living room carpet for the second time this month, I realized that there's only one thing that actually makes me feel better about my situation....cleaning. When I'm stressed, I grab the ipod and go to town on my house. I just spent the past 3 hours mopping the hardwood floors, dusting and shampooing the living room carpet....and I'm not done yet either. I still need to clean the baseboards. On Sunday I organized my closet and I was elated when I was finished. It honestly makes me feel like everything is in order when my house is clean.

I wish I was like some women who workout when they're feeling stressed. It would be nice to run for an hour or two to clear my head (plus I'd be getting some much needed cardio), but I just don't have it in me. I can, however, clean like it's nobody's business!

Is there anything that you do to make yourself feel better when you're having a bad day?

Friday, September 19, 2008

IUI # 1 Results

We just got back from our week-long vacation down the Jersey shore. We had a wonderful time with our friends and family. I ate out so much, I swear I gained 5 pounds!!

The down side to our vacation was that I got AF on Sunday. Sunday?!?! She wasn't supposed to show until 12 dpo, or Tuesday. That means I had a 10 day LP!! I thought Clomid was supposed to make my cycle longer! Needless to say, I was a little depressed, but Justin did a great job at keeping me distracted. I called my RE on Monday and told her that AF showed. Since I couldn't make it to an appointment at all last week, she postponed my 2nd IUI until my October cycle. I was so upset, but I have to believe that things happen for a reason.

So now I wait until October for another IUI. I know for sure that when I speak to my RE, I'd like to know why the 50mg of Clomid shortened my LP. Is that normal?

Friday, September 12, 2008

where's the stork?



I was browsing through someecards.com for a birthday card to send to one of my girlfriends when I came across this little gem.

Oh how I would love for a stork to drop off a little Justin Jr. on my doorstep!

Have a great weekend everybody! xoxo

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Planning for vacation

On Saturday, Justin and I will be heading down to Ocean City, New Jersey for a week-long vacation. It’s a beautiful time of year to visit the Jersey shore because it’s not incredibly hot and it isn’t too crowded, plus we found a beautiful house right on the beach for a great price! I love sitting on the beach with Justin, when it’s a little cool out, wearing sweatpants and reading a good book. It’s so relaxing and I’m really looking forward to it!

Normally I’d prepare for vacation by making a list of items we need to bring with us, like beach chairs, books, towels, etc. However, this time it’s a little different because next week is the end of my 2ww. Based on previous cycles, AF would typically arrive 12DPO, or next Tuesday. Since I’ll be away, I had to do a little research and find out where the local pharmacies are so that my RE can call in my next Clomid prescription. I want to be prepared for the worst. I already told her that I won’t be able to make my CD3 appointment for next cycle and she said it won’t be a problem.

On the other hand, I’m also packing a HPT in case AF doesn’t show!

The only downfall to the entire week is that the house we’re renting doesn’t have internet connection!! Can I really be computer-free for an entire week?! We’re bringing the laptop and I may pop in to the local Starbucks to use their wireless.

I’ve got my books all ready, lots of DVDs and my man. I’m good to go!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Re-focus

I had an HSG in July so I had to go to the hospital to have it done. Justin came with me that day and as we were waiting in line at the office reception area, my aunt, who works at a doctor’s office a few blocks away, just happened to have been in the hospital at that moment on her way to the cafeteria for lunch. She approached Justin and I and very excitedly asked if we were having a baby. I felt like I was just punched in the gut and words completely failed me at that moment. Justin stepped in and told her that I was just there for testing. I could tell that she felt pretty bad about asking me – probably because I was almost in tears, but she went on her way and I went to have the procedure done.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but after reflecting on the whole situation, I’ve come to realize that I was actually embarrassed. None of the women in my family have ever had any problems with conceiving (except for my one, dear aunt L) so I know that they can’t relate to me or understand why I could ever feel the way I do. They could never understand why I feel the need to hide my arms in the middle of the summer because they’re bruised from having so much blood work or why I feel guilty for having a glass of wine after my IUI. Most of all, I hate pretending to some people that it’s no big deal that we don’t have any children yet; but it really is a big deal to me.

From now on I’m going to try my hardest to remain positive and look on the bright side of things: I have an amazing husband who I get to spend a lot of undivided time with. We go on great vacations, we enjoy skiing in the winter, going down the shore in the summer and spending time with our goofy dog. My parents, in-laws, brothers, sister and sister-in-law are the best and are always here for me no matter what is going on. My best friend, Chica is simply the most caring and thoughtful person I know. She gives it to me straight, but is sympathetic when she needs to be.

I do have a lot of wonderful people in my life and although I’d like to add one more wonderful person to my life, I’m going to really let the others know how important to me they all are.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

IUI, take two!

My second IUI is over and done with and I'm officially in the 2 week wait! Justin's specimen today doubled from yesterday -- he produced 100 million with good motility! I'm so relieved that it's over and all that I need to do now is wait. I'm usually pretty good during the 2ww; I try not to over-analyze symptoms, but I do tend to test early about 50% of the time. I am going to try my hardest not to test!

We're going on vacation in 9 days. I'm really looking forward to having a relaxing time at the beach, and I guess I'll find out, while on vacation, if this IUI worked.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

First IUI

Justin and I woke up bright and early today for our first IUI. Justin produced his specimen at home, but we only had one hour to get it to downtown Philadelphia. Not an easy feat during rush hour traffic. I decided to drive because I am far more aggressive than he. Itwasthisclose, but we made it in time!

My RE was happy with the specimen: 50 million post-wash with good motility. Yea! My blood work confirmed that I'm having an LH surge and the ultrasound showed that my follicles are still hanging out. There are 2 on the right ovary: 16mm and 26mm. The left side has a 33mm follie! The IUI itself was very easy. I personally think a pap is far more uncomfortable. I go in for another IUI tomorrow morning, but Justin isn't able to make it to that one.

I don't want to be naive, I know that nothing is guaranteed to happen, but I really hope that this works out. I know that I haven't been trying for nearly as long as other women have, but the want is still there for me. I can't imagine my life without children and when I go to the RE's office and see women in there with infants, I know that some good has to come out of this whole process.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Labor Day Weekend

My Labor Day Weekend has been a lot of fun so far. On Saturday night, Justin and I met our friends Lisa and Nick in the city for dinner at Buddakahn then had drinks, al fresco, on Market Street. We love spending time with the two of them -- they're so much fun!

Sunday morning was a busy one for us: I had an RE appointment at 9 a.m. for b/w and ultrasound. I had 2 nice sized follicles on either side and a little follie paired with the large one on my right side. We had to wait around the office for the b/w to be processed because my RE thought I may ovulate sooner than expected b/c the follies were so big. The test came back, and I didn't have my LH surge just yet. I was instructed to start OPK's and come back on Tuesday for more monitoring unless my OPK came back positive.

After the doctor's appointment, Justin and I had brunch at the Continental Midtown, then headed over to the Franklin Institute to check out the Real Pirates exhibit, which Justin has been wanting to check out for a while now.





It was the most beautiful day in Philly -- especially for August! After the museum, we spent a little bit of time wandering down the Parkway. Justin got yelled at by a homeless man. That was pretty funny actually!! After we got back home, we watched a movie and made a delicious dinner -- caesar salad with homemade dressing and bruschetta. Yum!

I hope you all had a lovely Labor Day Weekend as well!